Coming off a season that ended in New York City, playing for the
N.I.T. Championship, Iowa Basketball now owns some of its highest
expectations in over a decade.
I’ve always been an optimistic guy when it comes to Iowa Hawkeye
sports (perhaps by definition, a homer, if you will). Yes, I’m that guy
who thought Todd Lickliter, in his third year as head coach of Iowa,
might be able to get his team to finish in the top half of the Big Ten.
Yes, I’m that guy who thought maybe, just maybe, Iowa fans were being
too hard on Steve Alford back in 2005. And now I’m saying that while I
think Iowa is going to be better than last year, fans and media might
want to step back on their enthusiasm just a bit. Wait.. What?! It’s
true. Iowa has been labeled a “dark horse” so many times in the
preseason, Black Beauty is jealous. Rip Van Winkle thinks calling the
Hawkeyes a “sleeper pick” has been overplayed. Iowa being tabbed as
this year’s “sexy pick” has Kate Upton… ok, you get the point, I’ll stop
already. Sorry.
But why not get excited? Why not eat up all the publicity and high
preseason praises and go with the flow? Be a man and pick Iowa to win
the Big Ten! No. Why? The short version – Iowa is basically the same
team it was last season when it failed to win the essential
resume-building games (Indiana and MSU), while losing a few
resume-destroying games (Virginia Tech, Purdue, Nebraska). The long
version – keep reading....
This summer's session of the PTL gave the Hawkeye Basketball faithful a shot of adrenaline. A lot of fans came away from the summer league excited about this year's team. In fact, someone even made mixtapes of both Devyn Marble and Aaron White from their PTL highlights.
OK, fine, Jamie. You put up "It's a Cyclone State" billboards when ISU beat Iowa in football. Fine, whatever. It was a jab at Iowa. And while petty and trite, it at least made sense in its efforts to get under the skin of Hawkeye fans.
The ISU athletic department's latest advertising move is just... well... stupid.
They even had a jigsaw puzzle on Facebook that added new pieces while excited ISU fans guessed what it was going to be...
Here's the billboard:
Yes, that's former Iowa and UNI AD, Bob Bowlsby on a billboard in Iowa markets. The ISU marketing department Pollardized this advertisement by making it seem as if Bob Bowlsby is coming home to Iowa State. And by doing that, getting under the skin of Iowa and UNI fans. But here's the thing. It doesn't make any sense. Both fanbases are completely apathetic when it comes to Bowlsby. No one gives a shit. Really. No one. He works in Texas, where the Big XII offices are located. He has 9 other schools besides ISU under his wing. Yet ISU Marketing thinks this makes sense. I just do not get it. I can't even put into words how silly this billboard is, I'm not even upset, I'm dumbfounded at why a program would put something like this up. Seriously, you made a billboard about your conference commissioner.
Needless to say, even Iowa State fans weren't pleased with this billboard.
Since I can't put it into words, I'll have to draw an analogy. I guess it only makes sense that Iowa would put a billboard (a Pollardized one, of course) to "get back" at those rascals down there in Ames. Oh, Iowa is gonna troll you guys from Ames.
SEE WHAT I DID THERE?!?!?!
Cael coaches for Penn State and because of that, he coaches in the Big Ten. Well, guys, IOWA IS IN THE B1G CONFERENCE, you know. So Cael is TOTALLY coming home to Iowa when he left the state to become the head wrestling coach at Penn State. NOW I GET IT. I UNDERSTAND POLLARD AND ISU MARKETING 101.
Back in July of 2010, Jarrod Uthoff chose to accept a scholarship to play basketball for the Wisconsin Badgers. To the outside world, he had pledged his allegiance to Bo Ryan and Badger Nation. Oh you silly people in the sports world and general sports fandom, you. Don't you see what happened? Haven't you watched enough Archer to figure this out by now? Jarrod Uthoff and Fran McCaffery just pulled off the greatest con in the last decade of B1G Basketball. Don't believe me? Here you go...
McCaffery was hired by Iowa and he immediately dug in and tried to retain the current players that had signed an NLI. Wisconsin got in the ear of one of the signed players (Ben Brust) and after a bunch of hoopla, Brust was allowed to go play for Bo Ryan penalty free. That pissed off McCaffery. A lot. East coast, Philly-type White Magic fury. Grrrr, I'm-really-mad type of stuff.
Pretty confident McCaffery is giving a chocolate-covered pretzel stink palm here
There is no love lost between Fran and Bo. Hate isn't a strong enough word.
So, how to retaliate? Easy. Go find a diehard Hawkeye fan who just so happened to be a Top 150 player with a Wisconsin scholarship offer. Couldn't be that hard to find, right? Oh, there you are Jarrod Uthoff (who just so happened to reside a half an hour from Carver-Hawkeye Arena). I see how this will pan out. Be sure to have Uthoff mention Bohannon (one of the first Eastern Iowa preps to spurn Iowa for Wisconsin) in his commitment to Wisconsin too, so he sounds honest. Have him say all the right things. It worked. For all intents and purposes, everyone thought Jarrod was a Badger. Except he was double-agenting all over Bo Ryan's face. Still don't believe me?
Iowa hadn't beaten Wisconsin on the road since 2000 (nine straight losses). In the last five games in the Kohl Center - Iowa had lost by an AVERAGE of 17 points. Iowa went to Madison and whooped up on the Badgers, they put up 72 points against Bo Ryan's defense (that's like the infinity sign against most defenses). How? How did they do it? Wisconsin was a Top 15 team, Iowa had lost to Campbell at home just over a month previous. I'll tell you how Iowa won. Jarrod Uthoff. I'm sure he got a bunch of film and paperwork on all of Wisconsin complicated offensive sets to the Iowa staff. I'm mean that Wisconsin offense is nearly impossible to scout against - how are you supposed to play defense for 30 seconds while the offense just dribbles around aimlessly (hint - you can't, it's reaaaaallly tough). Not to mention Uthoff must have added something to the Gatorade on the Badger bench, how else does Wisconsin shoot 3-28 from behind the arc? Thanks, Agent Uthoff.
And then Wisconsin comes to Iowa to rectify the situation, to get one back on Iowa. They forgot they were on Uthoff's turf, though. He already had the entire state on his side. Remember the stuff he added to Wisconsin's Gatorade up in Madison? He added the exact opposite serum to Iowa's drink of choice in one bottle, the bottle that belonged to Matt Gatens. That's why Matty Fresh went BANANAS on Wisconsin in February. Because of Jarrod Uthoff. Sneaky, sneaky Uthoff.
Alright, so you don't really buy into this conspiracy, huh? No? Don't forget this tidbit. Bo Ryan wanted Jarrod Uthoff to play last year, but Uthoff himself chose to redshirt. No way could he log minutes as a Badger. Look, giving information to your hometown team is one thing, but actually playing on the bad guys' team is a whole 'nuther level.
So when Jarrod Uthoff officially decides to come to play for Iowa, don't be fooled. He was always playing for the Hawkeyes, he just lived in a different state.
